Everything is fading. Losing its authenticity. Its creative spark. Or maybe it's just me and my perspective on life.
When I hear about friends buying houses, getting married or starting a "career"....I cringe at the thought. I am 22 right now and if I had to be some pregnant, married lady living in the suburbs planting flowers and gossiping about neighbours, as well as dealing with the financial worries of car payments and a mortgage by the time I am 27....then......life reallly does suck-ass!
I don't have a problem with people who are "generally happy" with the lifestyle stated "above." I just have a problem with people who say, "I NEED to be married by 26 and have kids before I'm 30 and live in a two car garage suburbian home with either a Lexus or Mercedes or both on my driveway." My question is - What if you don't really love the person you are dating when you are 26? Do you then just settle with them anyway? Hoping and praying (I'm assuming these individuals are religious) that it will work out? Do you live the next 20 odd years of your life lying to youself? Worse off, lying to the person you are married to? Do you wonder from time to the time all the "what ifs" you didn't fulfill because you HAD TO and DESPERATELY NEEDED to pretend to yourself and most importantly everyone else that your life turned out accordingly to the general public's notion of "normality"?
I personally believe that if I had to live the next 20 years wondering everyday what it should have been or would have been, then life would not be worth living at all.
Love...with a capital "L". Isn't that what people who get married, have kids, etc....are all searching for and believe to have found? At least I hope it is.
But love doesn't come pre-packaged nor does it sit neatly displayed on a shelf with a price tag. It doesn't come with a list of warnings or incentives, rather... I wonder, is it really "Love" that people are seeking these days? Or is it just security? A pay cheque? A nice car? A good fuck? An approval? A competition? A possession?...
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I think that sticking too rigidly to any particular life plan is somewhat problematic. It is my opinion that adaptiveness is a life skill of the utmost importance. Life can only be planned to a certain extent before said planning goes awry and you find yourself compromising your happiness in order to stick with the plan. An example of this would be the "OK, we're dating and we're 26, lets get married no matter how little we really care for each other" approach.
Loose plans are optimal in that they provide a general, overarching guideline which itself can be altered. But realistically and most importantly, one must plan to be constantly altering and re-working their plans because really, the only constant in life is change.
As for love, I fear that due to consistency effects, we have come to treat it as we treat our cell phones; if it's even a little broken, we just get a new one. The Bachelor/Bachelorette TV shows promote love as competition, approval, possession, and if you win (b/c it is all about winning), a pay cheque. I'm not sure if these shows are a cause or result of our modern culture. But either way, I can't see how they can be helping.
As of late I have begun taking the position that if those around me choose to make what I perceive to be ridiculous life decisions, that's simply not for me to worry about. I may not agree with it or choose that path for myself. But if they're not imposing anything on me, what can I say? If they ask me what I think, I'll tell them. Otherwise, I would appreciate that they reciprocate and let me do what I wish. In a "do it yourself" culture, there can be no objective right or wrong. In the end there are only opinions.
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